Maybe I will always miss what we almost had. And maybe it’s the maybes and the almosts that will always eat away at me. Those Halloweens you talked about. I saw them too. And Christmases and birthdays and the green blue eyes of a little girl now we’ll maybe never get to name.
Maybe we’d have the chaotic dinners with meatballs eaten around the coffee table once a week. Maybe almost every night would have ended with legs intertwined and quickened breathing in my ear.. The kind of love making only soulmates can understand.
Maybe I’d have loved all the parts of you that you were scared to show the others. The parts you push down.. you keep pushing down and only think about when the world is almost quiet. Maybe my anxious heart would have calmed after days or months or years of being covered in your love.
A little time together, a little time away.. maybe that’s the secret to making the heart happy until the feeling in you to fly settles. Maybe we almost had the formula for the foundation of the most beautiful kind of love.
Maybe you wouldn’t have left me feeling like you realized what the others did.. that the thought of me was better than the reality. Maybe some other girl, with a mind too young to understand what we had, convinced you that I wasn’t your future but your almost instead. Maybe you should listen more to your heart and less to your fears and the jealousy of left behind lovers. I promise the answer almost always lies within your being. Not in the words of others who will never place their feet inside the print you leave upon the sand.
But, maybe we will never know. And almost is the saddest word to me or maybe it’s maybe. Maybe what we almost were will always be an almost dream.
LL.

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