The Blood & The Bones

You were a lesson I needed to learn wrapped up in love I needed to feel.

You took a barren heart and you seeded it, you watered it and you showed it warmth. You reminded me what I needed to grow.

And you taught me what it was like to be enough. You taught me to shine the light on all that is good within me.  Things I’d forgotten.  And that light made it grow.

With your help, my spring has come.  But your winter is still upon you.  And our seasons aren’t compatible.

But, that doesn’t make me sad.  It only lets me know that, when it is the right time we will both find the right one. You were a glimpse into the possibility of forever love.  You just weren’t going to be mine forever.

I cannot wish hurt on you no matter how much I ached for what you told me we’d have.  All I can do is wish that you will find the fragments inside your own heart, mind and soul to fill in the hollow holes you search to fill with the pieces of others.  Because, you take more than I think you mean to and, if they let you, you’ll keep taking in your own way.  You’ll keep coming back as a friend, as a lover as anything that doesn’t require you to stay forever.  You will be temporary to anyone who ever expects you to stay.  I cannot let you take up valuable space in my life anymore because of all that happened. I cannot let you back in like the others do because that requires hope that I just don’t have anymore. That is my right. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want the best for you.

And some day when your restlessness settles your winter will end and you’ll look around and see that your spring has come. I can see the beauty of it in my mind because I now live in my own. You are already so blessed but what comes next is a blessing upon those blessings.  The love and true sense of self will bloom like a field of a thousand wild flowers. And I wish you all of that and more because I’ll never repay you for what you gave back to me.

Thank you.

LL.