The Blood & The Bones

My son has been pretty adamant about the one thing he really really wants for Christmas is a baby sister. Finally, today, I figured I’d explain to him that this was a difficult task for Santa to manage or Mama, for that matter, with no boyfriend or husband. I see him looking at me in the rear view mirror and he says ‘well, that’s easy. You can have a boyfriend if you wanted. You can have any boy you want, Mommy’ and I just sorta got really quiet and focused on driving and didn’t know what to say without crying because, I don’t see myself that way AT ALL and I really honest to God will never ever EVER understand how I got so lucky in this life to be blessed with this little boy’s unconditional love. I mean, he gives me a hard time pretty much ALL the time and I swear I mess up constantly as I fumble through motherhood but at the end of the day he still thinks I hung the moon and stars. So many times I’ve wanted to hand him to his Dad and run so I don’t accidentally screw him up or because I cannot give him everything his father can financially but I know I couldn’t live without him. I wouldn’t last a day. And I know my love for him and his for me will be the foundation we build a beautiful life on. I guess that’s why I don’t really care so much about dating anymore. Because, I don’t think there is anything that will ever top what he and I share. I know some days it may look like we don’t have much but really we have it all.

LL~