The Blood & The Bones

Hazy sunlight and the breeze through patio doors left open.  I feel the warmth of your body, your fingers firmly grasping the curve of my hip.  The sounds of leaves swirling and puppy paws on the hardwood.  And I awake instantly happy as I remember I am with you.

You slide in closer as if you’d been waiting all night for me to stir and give you permission.  Saying nothing, you love me in the yellow morning light. Our bodies warm and sleepy and our breath quickening.

You leave me to start the coffee and the sounds of bacon sizzling and the news fill the quiet spaces. Later it’ll be some metal album I’ve never heard and the voices of our little ones who never could figure out if they liked each other. I watch you as you move around the kitchen always insisting I do nothing. And I always insisting upon silliness. Anything to see that smile or the way your eyes look deeply content as if this was the first time you’d ever experienced this.

We talk of vintage shops and halloween, road trips to little corners of the world.  We talk of adventure and injustice but never ever of the future.

But there is laughter, always laughter.  I can hear it in my head even now.

And love, there was love in abundance. The air was thick with it. And we never had to say it.  It wasn’t something we had to think about or put a lot of effort into, we just did.

Those mornings, in the grand scheme of things, I can’t imagine they were all that special to you.  You crave a different life as I suppose I once did too.  But, when the days are hard, the nights are sleepless, the bed is cold.. always so cold… I think back on those mornings with you. And, if I’m being honest I can’t think of much I wouldn’t give up to have just one more.

But, you’re gone now and there isn’t anything I can do about it.  All I could do has already been done.

So, I tell myself that when I die if heaven exists that maybe this is where I’ll get to spend an eternity wrapped up in a morning with you.

LL~

Happy Birthday, SA.