The Blood & The Bones

Today, I checked in on you the way I used to. I don’t know why.  I need to stop.  I will. I don’t like what I see. I never did.

Actually, maybe I do know why.  Because the further I get from you the more I see how absolutely full of lies and bullshit you are.

All the things you said didn’t matter.  The girls you said were vapid attention whores yet, somehow, you still regularly gave them your attention too.  The women you sought out with qualities and desires you wanted in a mate.  The single girls in the town you lived in.  All the women you said I shouldn’t worry about.. that I was crazy to ask you about.  That you tore me down for worrying about. That you looked for then got angry with me when I noticed. And don’t say it was nothing.. that it doesn’t matter.  It did.  It does.  The lies you told about things going on in your life.  Your reasons.  Your feelings.  Your commitment to me.  All. Fucking. Lies.

I’ll never let you back in this time.  Never.  You had me fooled.  You really did.  You said things to me that made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. How many of them heard the same things?  Now I see you for who you really are.  Now I see how weak you are and how much you let it cost you.  I used to think you were the one.  The man who would love me completely the way I always hoped someone would.  The man I’d spend my last days with in that cabin in the woods.  Now I know that you were just another lesson.. just another mistake.

LL~