The Blood & The Bones

What lives in the unfinished, the what might have been, the path I didn’t or couldn’t choose, the mistakes that can’t be unmade..it is vast, and beautiful and good. And it will never be mine. And I will never know how happy it could have made me. I wasn’t always like this. But, I fuck up so much. So goddamn much. That is what hurt does to you. Recycled trauma. Loosened screws. Stripped, damaged. Hardened and halfhearted. Is there no more hope for me? For it seems I am only all in for the end. My eyes always looking for the exit. No exceptions. Zero tolerance. No more second chances even for those who deserve them…Even if it’s me. And, so, I lose. Because my bet is placed before the cards are even dealt. Believing no one would want to play the game with me. And so, I lose it all. I will always lose.

LL