The Blood & The Bones

What was I ever to any of them but just a disposable thing?

A body to touch in the in between.. I have become a resting place.  A stop beside the road.  Maybe a way to waste the time.  A place to sit while you decide to go back where you came from or move forward. A place to heal on the road to forever from heartbreak.

I keep asking myself why..

Why I fall for the men who don’t have the heart to love me?

Am I only just a thing to dull the missing of someone else? Do they forget that I have a heart too? I am more than just a distraction.. more than just an intermission. I am meat and bones and a heartbeat. I am love and tenderness. I am happiness if you’ll let me be. Not just for a day or week or month. But, the forever kind.

But, yet I am treated as a soft placeholder you take your respite in until someone returns or arrives who looks a little more like the girl next door and less like a fantasy. I am just a shoulder to hold your sadness. An understanding for your madness. A body for your kinks. At first, an adventure you want to keep going on until that wears off and you realize I’m just a girl.. just a girl who doesn’t look like kind you’d marry.

And is it that I’m not worthy or do they see that I deserve a man they cannot be?

Either way, they always leave.

LL

the blood & the bones