The Blood & The Bones

There is a version of you

That I did not get to see

I imagined him though. Many times. Unlike the you that you want others to know, he is not as calm, not as calculated and nowhere near collected.

He is chaos and primal energy. His grip leaves imprints in my flesh and he is just frightening enough for me to keep looking at him with fear and longing and all the things I secretly hoped you could make me feel.

And when I touch him, he is vibrating with wanting and his body responds to me immediately. He does not hold back. Why would he? In this version of you, you can let go. You can be free. This side of you is not dedicated to control. You are happy to lose it when it comes to the wanting. But only when it comes to these urges. For you will remain in control as you set the tone and let me know what is waiting.

The weight of this man, this being full of rage and blood lust presses down upon me and somehow this is the version of himself he really likes best. This pure and raw being who is less worried about what others see and more about feeling.

And I can’t say I knew the side of you that you gave all that well either. I never got the chance. You were polite and guarded and I knew well why you would be. But I could tell it was just a mask.. a disguise.. a calculated front. All in the name of remaining someone others want to see you be.

LL