The Blood & The Bones

Sitting in the car listening to the rain thinking about how there were days, a long time ago, when I prayed for the life I have now. It’s messy, it’s rushed a lot of the time, organized chaos mostly. I’m juggling a lot always. And at the end of the day after I put my little boy to bed, the house gets quiet and I slide into my bed to no one waiting for me. I am going through this part of my journey purposefully alone. It’s hard. I won’t lie. And it used to be that when the noise died down, my brain would be so loud I had to distract myself so that I couldn’t be a part of those conversations of self doubt. And then I started making writing a priority. And it has become my rain. My way of emptying heavy clouds and washing away what was too much to carry.
I’m not perfect and I won’t pretend I’m perfectly happy but I have this peace in my heart I kept looking for in everyone else. I had no idea I had it all this time within me to give to myself.

LL