The Blood & The Bones

I mean it to be a whisper
but my lips scream
fuck this noise in my head
hands in my hair
I say it with trembling gritted teeth
like I could fight it
if I could just steady myself
like I wasn’t scared
like I knew what to believe
or like I could run
from a mind cluttered
with ashes and static
but you can’t break free
from a prison you built
with your own searching hands
piece by piece
with numbing self depricating preservation
you think you can hide from
your stalled out promises
your own disbelief
until it hits you
that you can
that this does not have to be finality
who am I if not
the maker of my destiny
the one who crawls from this pit
and conquers the noise, the dark, the screams
but now maybe I see
how those that could not keep going
life like you always talked about it
in the haze
in the fogged out disarray
in the grey
where we must not stop and take leave
but must carry on beyond the in between

the blood
& the bones