The Blood & The Bones

The air is thick, heavy

It will spill soon, overflowing

And I will sit here still

Nowhere to go

Praying it washes away what I cannot

Hours gone by

Or maybe minutes

Watching the ashen sky

My fingers laced around a glass of once cool drink

It’s the 4th or 5th…

I don’t know but it does not burn anymore and I am no longer just sipping

Drowning something, everything

And I feel cold but it’s a chill you can’t warm without touch or even with

And maybe that’s what the whiskey’s for because who else touches me like this?

There are sounds in the air. Crickets maybe? And street noises from outside the neighborhood. And people living their lives. A life I left behind and one I’m trying to find.

Like a truck pulling in from work and her rushing out to the truck to greet him. A place we should have met each evening. But I could not find a way to be in the place with her. With anyone.

And I see it in my mind in slow motion as she can’t get to him fast enlighten you hold him and I watch it unfolding as I am utterly alone.

Or lost, yes, a better word for this half hearted existence

Listening to the world keep moving

While mine halts, stops, stalls

Unguided

Undecided

Can’t go back, can’t go forward, can’t sit still, can’t move on

Should have the answers, at least some but I don’t

And in the silence

It plays, sad and low

Only for me to hear though

The sounds of the world and my own discord

A record broken like me

spinning and spinning

The same tune

The same song

I’ve come so far, so far

But now where do I go?

the blood

& the bones