Don’t fall in love with people like me.

We have forgotten how to stay. We are rivers and dandelion seeds. We are hurricane winds and fickle seas.

Ghosts of love, never really here, one foot always out the door and the other set to flee..

The lover in me will want to keep you but the poet will know it cannot be. But I will write you into a chapter if you are willing.

And I will warn you from the beginning as soon as I feel you slipping. It comes easy when you’ve never known a love like mine. And still I will wrap my legs and lips and words around you in a way that makes you never long to be set free. Desire digs so absolute, so deep, so completely that you will convince yourself that I am the one that you have been waiting for.

But that’s not true. It can’t be.

So many times it has dripped from lovestruck mouths that it’s lost it’s meaning.

And it’s not that it won’t be some kind of love. It’s just you’ll fall in to parts too deep and I have learned how to fall only as far as I can see.

I won’t want to hurt you but I can’t stop myself from running. Its all I know now to avoid the hurt that arrives eventually. And, so, it’s the pain that pushes me. Driving me away. Making me scared. And who can stay for long in one place when they are this afraid? Fear is a giver of life and a mercenary.. It can hold you back and it can set you free. You choose what you do with it. And I choose to let it carry me.

Because I know if I stay rooted, the anvil is teetering.. always on the edge and either it pulls me down or crushes me. And I can’t risk that. Not again.

So, I will find a way to disappear slowly then all once. Telling myself it was inevitable that you would tire of me so better to do it first. Self preservation has become the only thing I trust. And this is how the story must end unfortunately.

Because it’s not that I don’t want forever, it’s that forever doesn’t want me.

the blood
& the bones

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