The Blood & The Bones

Dear Me,

I am writing this to you, in hopes, that somehow maybe time will learn to bend, and that perhaps 20 or maybe even 30 years will not be wasted.

I know how you hate yourself. And how often you look in the mirror and all you see are the things you wish you could change. And unfortunately, how it goes so much deeper than that. There is not much about yourself that you like. You feel different from everyone else. The way you look. The way you think. You ask yourself how a God they say made man in his image, how a God they say loves endlessly could make a woman so full of need and yet so flawed. Why He made all the others as he did leaving you with what was left.

You will never find the answer to this. And you would be driven mad with the thought of it if you let it.

I wish more than anything I knew how to tell you that you won’t need to.

Because one day there will be someone who saves you.. not like a knight in shining armor, but more like a man who knows that a love without hesitation heals.

And I don’t know his name or when he will arrive, but I can tell you he will look at you as if you are every sunrise and every sunset. He will see your blemishes and your scars as constellations. He will tell you every wound is a necessary part of your mosaic. And he will not delay or vacillate because he understands in those moments of pause how doubt becomes love’s worst enemy. But it will take no effort to love you just as you are, if you will let him. Please let him.

And I’m not saying you shouldn’t learn to love yourself, to find the beauty that you do possess but I understand how difficult this is. I can beg of you to try. But I know. I know and I’ll just leave it at that.

And while I pray that you will, I know that even if you or do not, I can still make you this promise.

There is someone that will cherish what you want to do away with. What you would cut out even at the risk of being left with nothing. He will desire you whole. To him you will be a masterpiece. His Garden of Eden. His ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. His Venus. His Everest.

All I ask is that you know he exists and that if you can, wait for him.

the blood
& the bones

#towriteistosurvive #lovecanheal #loveletters #dearme