The Blood & The Bones

I know I push.

Like a battering ram hungry for space, for distance and for the burden of being something to yet another someone else to be lifted.

But I don’t want it. Not really.

What I really want is a little bit of easy silence. For a body to bear the weight, without being asked, of the load and sometimes of me. For a hand to reach even when the space is greater than anticipated and when it finds mine, claws out, not to let go. I need an ear and a mind to hear but maybe not to always understand. I’m quite sure I’ll never even understand myself but if you will just listen. Listen when I say nothing and not run that will be enough.

I need someone to occupy the vacancy that I have intentionally built my life beside. Be in this space that I have made so uninviting..

And just sit here.

Sit here and be a rock with me. A lost wild thing. A juxtaposition of guilt and absolution… of settle down and set free. Be here and change nothing. Ask me for nothing. And expect even less. Not for forever. Life doesn’t work like that. But for tonight, be still with me.

And that will be more than any other has ever.

For now, that would look something like love to a girl who never knew the meaning.

the blood
& the bones