The Blood & The Bones

I don’t want you and I don’t love you.

I haven’t felt anything remotely close to those feelings in longer than I can remember.

Longer than we were even together.

I can coexist in the same world as you without feeling the ache of heartbreak that used to be nailed on to your name.

We still know each other well because there is one thing that binds us..

.. One thing we are both so grateful for.

One beautiful thing that makes the time we were together and the pain we gave to each other worth it 100 times over.

And because of that it means that we will always be in each other‘s lives.

We will always get to see where each ends up, who comes and who goes, what jobs we take, the people we meet, the parents we lose, the homes we leave behind and the ones we make anew.

I can stand all of that.

But to watch someone else live the life with you that I fought and begged for, but was never allowed to have..

It’s gut wrenching because I have to wonder why, even as the mother of your only child, I was never enough to deserve it.

the blood

& the bones