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It’s the chase I crave, I need. When I pull away .. .. and they follow. When I put distance between and they speed up to catch me. And I don’t want to make you believe that this is ok. But I know this about who I am and for better or for worse, I
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they write about war i write about love it’s all the same the blood & the bones
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I never loved youBut I loved that a man like you thought you loved me A man they all wanted and I somehow had wanting meAt the time, lost in my own forest of longing and loneliness, this was a good enough reason to say it in returnAnd because you seemed to so desperately need
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I wanted it But I didn’t want it all to be about their kind of love The soft, pink gooey hearts and gentle touches I wanted it to be full of fear and darkness and wild To be a thing of obsession and desire A possession he would die for if it came to it
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I don’t knowhow to be mewhen I’m notyours too the blood& the bones
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he replacesmy painwith a new kind of achesliding deep into it’s healing where all is forgivensubmission, my freedom and he, my therapy the blood & the bones
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they beg for your eyesand make movesto conveythey will happily acceptpieces and partsof youthey will takethe less you givegladlywhereas Ihungry for all of youonly willing to have you wholecannot compete withthe ones whowon’t want more the blood& the bones
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My eyes open, languidly, to the streams of beams through the thin fabric. I am out of breath. My chest rises and falls, my legs gently shake. I hear the shower turn on just after he has left me in this bed.. This cradle of indentation created from our assembled weight. Quivering and full, wet
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I miss the girl who loved herself enough to find a path to whole. This version of me is defeated I am no longer worthy of even my own love or effort. And I know that’s not the way it should be and that I deserve better.. But how do you conquer the enemy, how
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You will never convince me I was not a river siren in a past life. LL
The Blood & The Bones 