The Blood & The Bones

I can’t figure out if love makes things too complicated.

Isn’t it easier to be numb? To be whole and not shared? To never have your insecurities brought to light? To never be scared?

Did you ever catch yourself saying why am I like this? Why do these things matter? Why does this hurt? How do I push it down so I don’t have to think of it or feel it or suffer it? Is it ok to talk about or should I just keep my mouth shut? What will they think if I mention it? Will this be our undoing? Should I just run now and get it over with before they do?

And you think about the reasons why you are this way. The hurt from others that made dents and holes that you were never able to heal, never successful in sealing the wounds. And maybe that’s why these things that seem so small to others are so big to us because we’ve been there and we know what these things will eventually do.

I can’t figure out if love makes life too hard.

And what’s even more devastating is I can’t decide if it’s worth it..

LL