The Blood & The Bones

you could ruin me
if you wanted
but you won’t
it’s not that your grip isn’t strong enough
or that you haven’t ever gently held me in contempt when I’ve needed it
but you won’t ever hurt me like that
it’s not in the books you’ve read
or the love you saw growing up
what’s sick is
I will keep wishing you will against my own will
like an inevitable anvil, I wait for it and wish for it from this masochistic place in me that finds comfort and validation in pain
physical, mental, emotional
making me fight to earn love as if then
I’ll actually deserve it
this gives you a power over me greater than any other
and even though it’s strange to me
I’m secretly grateful you have no idea that destruction lies within you
and that you love me only with a purity I didn’t have to endure destruction for

the blood
& the bones