Had I been spared the burden of noticing, of intense scrutiny, I might have lived more oblivious, loved without such depth of thought

But love, itself, was loud

it made noise and I listened too well

Born with eyes, a mind and, ultimately, a heart who perceives everything

like when it arrives and when it goes

Or the way the word connection will now forever be hers

How the notes on the tattered pages of that book she gave you would likely never be forgotten

and the way you wrote about all of those before in yours

The shapes on your skin that told the story of first loves

The way one leaned in as if you could carry the world

and how your eyes held the weight of a body supplicated

And fingers laced around the edges of a torso as if the spaces between her ribs were made for your hand

I notice too that you have never pulled me in in this way, never demanded my stillness in that kind of embrace

And that I have never felt the unrelenting confidence of being perfect for you, maybe for anyone

But it maims me more to know I am not formed for you specifically, never considered to be

That I did not come from your divined rib because of how I was made or because you gave up that belief

And it hurts that my body won’t forget all the ways that I know you touch me differently

revere me differently

And that truthfully you maybe want me just enough to make it work

the blood
& the bones

©️thebloodandthebones