The Blood & The Bones

Dear God, if you’re there and listening, I have a favor to ask..

I know plans like these are often made on New Year’s Eve or when a year has been added, but today I decided I can’t keep doing this without you.

There was a time when I prayed for my son, even when they said I would likely never know that joy. There was a time when I prayed for my husband, even though I thought a love like that may not be meant for me.

So I’m asking loudly and without shame, in front of the world or at least those who read my long captions, please help me step into a season of abundance in peace, growth, and purpose.

Make me more aware of what I have, quicker to feel gratitude, and more intentional about expressing it, especially to my husband, for the ways he shows up, seen and unseen.

Guide me in loving my child well, to encourage him in ways that reach him, to find the right words when we don’t agree, and to be patient when it would be easier not to be. Help me to be someone he’s proud of.

Teach me to love my body enough to care for and nourish it, to become the strongest, healthiest version of myself. Help me make a vow to my body the same as I made to my husband, to honor it in sickness and in health. Help me to speak kindness and life into my heart and mind instead of belittling this vessel that has brought me through so much. Help me understand that it’s okay to prioritize my health, to give it time and attention, as long as the things that matter most are still cared for.

Help me to see the worth in myself even when others try to pull me down. I’ve worked hard to show that I bring value to conversations, to ideas, and to the work I touch. Do not let me believe again that I belong in the background or confined to the edges of something I helped build.

Help me to see the gifts that I have and not to let time keep slipping away without following my heart. I know that I was born with something special, we all are and often just need the courage to give it to the world.

Let this be a year of alignment and of doors opening where I’ve done the work to walk through them. And help me become the kind of person I know that I can who can hold the life I’m asking for.

Amen.