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I have never really loved my legsthey always seemed too heavyfor the rest of my bodyas if the delicacy of mehad run out right around my hip bonebut he does this thingwhere I’m on my stomach and he reaches undergrabbing the ample meat of my thighsand flips me over in a swift singular motionas if
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What would you say if I told you I’ve been dead for months?at most, maybe even a yearmy body.. this carcass I was born ashamed ofthat no one ever taught me how to loveit still movesbut the life is goneI fought to breathe again and thought I had wonthen I reached out and you didn’t
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I can carve until my fingers breakuntil the blade hits boneuntil my stomach turns on itselfand I will never find her againwhat was it she was so good at anyway?hiding pain?asking for little to nothing?debasing self to be fraudulently interesting? a life of trying to be carefulall because of some numberson a machinea numb trophyawarded
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2024. May this year handle you gently but also push you to become a more intuitive, thoughtful, heart guided, stronger and grateful version of you. May you find in yourself the person you needed when you were younger and forgiveness, for those who may have failed you unintentionally, so that the weight of their negligence
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you could ruin meif you wantedbut you won’tit’s not that your grip isn’t strong enoughor that you haven’t ever gently held me in contempt when I’ve needed itbut you won’t ever hurt me like thatit’s not in the books you’ve reador the love you saw growing upwhat’s sick isI will keep wishing you will against
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People often write of how it’s something beautiful when everything goes quiet, when you’re alone and someone fills their mind. That’s not when I want to be remembered. I want to be with you when everything is loud. When you have no place for a any thoughts outside of what’s going on. When you’re in
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we share this really safe thingthat feels as I know it shouldor at least I’ve been told it shouldwhen it’s healthybut secretly or maybe not so secretlyI miss toxicI want what I probably shouldn’t..my panties cut, my face red, my hips bruisedto be pushed against surfaces not meant to hold bodiespainful edges pressing in while
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he makes me crave an unfamiliar kind of intimacyit’s what people would know as wholesome, I believedinners at the same table, an embrace at the doortraditions and voices that are never ruined in angerI think most just call it normalbut I was taught fear and self soothingto be rarely seen and never heardto look for
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I am honestly terrified I’ll never be your Dagny.. never a woman you feel is equal. Because I was something like that, fighting against the tides alone for what seemed like my whole life. Then I met you and wanted to be soft for awhile after being steel for so long. Letting my defenses down
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It was my misunderstanding Thinking that tender meant the absence of aggression, of passion, of intensity That dichotomy was its reality When instead it can mean balance Comprehension of every facet of my needs It can mean coexistence The care of a heart and mind even when the body, most gratifyingly on my part, is
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The Blood & The Bones 