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There was happiness. So much fucking happiness. But, then there was also that constant underlying turmoil. Because, even when I tried my hardest to ignore it. I always felt you leaving before you were even gone. Lots of women know when they love a runner and they try to make you stay anyway. But, you…
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My son has been pretty adamant about the one thing he really really wants for Christmas is a baby sister. Finally, today, I figured I’d explain to him that this was a difficult task for Santa to manage or Mama, for that matter, with no boyfriend or husband. I see him looking at me in…
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I beg. I plead. I pray. I grieve. I scream. I bleed. Please release me. LL~
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Sometimes I’ll type your name in the search bar just to see what comes up. Sometimes it’s new photos or things you’ve liked. I don’t do this to be nosey. Just to see what you’ve been up to.. to feel closer to you. Today was the first time I’d done this in quite a long…
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Yes, hello Yes, I know It’s been awhile Not sure how long But it’s been Just long enough For the numbness To set in Yes, I know I play along I laugh and I smile So they think time Healed the wounds Because I never Say your name Or speak of The darkness Once I…
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Time spent alone is what recharges my soul. I get to focus on the burning colors of the sky. The sound of the fallen leaves under my feet. The way the sun dips itself into the edges of the earth to sleep and the moon reigns through the night. And now I think of you…
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There are things we forget when one leaves and things that revisit us without warning.. Like that time you spun me around in the middle of the sidewalk and pressed your mouth to mine… you kissed me hard under the streetlights in the middle of downtown. And not long after that, on another night a…
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This fucking rain.. it makes me melancholy and unsettled. And we’ve had so goddamned much of it the last 6 months. But, at least I’m writing and taking notice of things that I find beautiful and intricate and inspiring. And, most importantly, I am enjoying and exploring the silence within me and not drowning it…
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Listen, when you finally find me you’ll worry, like you always do, that you’re too much. Too hard. Too hopeless. Too cold. You’ll feel the sugary sweetness and warmth of me and the open arms of my understanding and you’ll wonder if my skin is thick enough. If my tolerance has ever been truly tested.…
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He would say.. She’s just a friend, crazy, no one, a colleague, an acquaintance, unstable, insignificant, someone who won’t go away. I don’t know why she’s calling.. texting..doing this.. saying that… And I loved him for a year. And he loved me. Behind closed doors and then in full view. Unofficially. Officially and back again.…
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The Blood & The Bones 